When was the last time your daydreamed? Remember, as a child, when you daydreamed about what you would be when you grew up?
A firefighter, movie star, singer, teacher, professional athlete, or doctor, to name a few. I have sometimes envied those people who know from childhood their life's dream.
When I was in the seventh grade, the school asked us to complete a datasheet for our permanent record files. One section of the questions asked, "Have you decided what you are going to do to earn a living? If yes, what?" Then, "If you have not decided, what occupation(s) are you interested in?"
One of my best friends wanted a career in dentistry and went on to become a dental hygienist. Another classmate was interested in teaching or joining the military. By the next year, he was going to become a civil engineer or a naturalist. He became a doctor and has had a very successful career.
At 12, I was undecided but interested in modeling and cosmetology. Just a couple of years later, my interests had changed to architecture and art, not my career field, but areas that I still love.
My parents always taught me that I could be successful at anything I wanted as long as I put my mind (and the work) to it.
Daydreaming initially followed me into young adulthood. However, as the responsibilities of a job, family, and life took over, I daydreamed less. Furthermore, some of the people that surrounded me had negative outlooks and didn't believe in dreaming the impossible. Over time I developed a negative "glass half full" attitude.
Gradually, I stopped daydreaming altogether and adopted a condition that I call "Oppression by Perceived Reality" or OBPR. OBPR is when we feel as if we have no control over our situation as we see it. When we suffer from OBPR, we stop dreaming as we think it is a waste of time. After all, when a person is making a low wage and living short of paycheck to paycheck, one may think what's the point in dreaming of a new home, starting a business, or earning six figures? Or one may have a good income but feel trapped in their current job because of other commitments and responsibilities.
We often blame external factors for our situation. Society, politics, parents, spouse, family, environment, education, location, heritage, job, boss, and finance are just a few factors people blame for their situation. I know I did. The reality is that we are so focused on looking at the things we blame for our circumstances that we can't see ourselves and our state of affairs any other way, and we develop OBPR.
Jack Canfield wrote a fantastic book, "The Success Principles - How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be." His first principle is "Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life". Jack writes "that there is only one person responsible for the quality of the life you live. That person is you."
You may ask, "Where do I start? I can't do that. I don't have the education or money."
Start by removing 'I can't' from your vocabulary. We have to put away the negative self-talk and tell ourselves that we can do almost anything with the right plan. Paul R. Scheele, Co-founder, Learning Strategies Corporation, stated, "The phrase "I can't" is the most powerful force of negation in the human psyche." Imagine a phrase like "I can't" having so much power over you. I don't think any of us would consciously want anything negative to have control over us. So be aware of your words and avoid negative self-talk.
Spend time reflecting and daydreaming. Steal away some quiet time by yourself. When you have a family, this may not be easy. But, things like having lunch at the park or getting up an hour before the family may give you just the time you need. When you do find some quiet time, think. Think about your life. What would it be like if there were no limitations? Dig deep within and ask yourself a lot of questions such as:
· What do I enjoy doing?
· What gives me confidence?
· What are my best skills?
· What hobbies or interests did I once do that I have given up?
· What would I do if there were no financial, education, or responsibility limitations?
· Is it something I could learn?
If you are trying to get career focus but are still cloudy, you might consider taking a skills/interest assessment. There are several good ones. One that is free is the O*Net Interest Profiler. With the O*Net Interest Profiler, you can:
Once you have identified your dream pursuit, research the subject or industry, and talk to successful people. Find out what are the obstacles most people face and the level of effort required. Do you need additional education, training, or certification? What is the financial investment or risk? How long before you can start reaping the rewards of your effort? Does it mean changing jobs or moving? What is the time commitment?
Consider all areas and what would be required to achieve your dream. Write down everything. Reread it. Will you commit to achieving your goal?
If so, write down your dream in the form of a goal. Be specific about what you want to achieve with enough detail that you can see it. Next, assign a date for achieving your goal. Your goal might be something like, "My goal is to work in Florida and live in a 3000 square foot home on the beach by the end of 2024." Or, "My goal is to secure a position with a large corporation as a marketing manager earning at least $100K within 12 months of today (enter today's date)."
Now that you know what you want and have set it as a goal write down every step you need to take to get there, in the order that you need to take them. Assign a timeline to these steps.
For example, if your goal was to live on the beach, you might start by researching which areas of Florida have businesses with employees in my field of expertise. Does your current employer have a location in Florida? If so, would a transfer be possible? Research nearby area beaches for options where you would like to live. Then explore the housing in the areas that attract you. Consider extracurricular activities offered.
Prioritize your steps to achieve your goal, add a timeline for accomplishing each one, and this becomes your plan.
Find a cheerleader and accountability partner. It helps to have someone in your corner, encouraging you each step of the way and holding you accountable. This person may be your spouse, best friend, boss, or coach. Sometimes a career or life coach's comments are received better than someone close to you.
A coach can increase your likelihood of success, but the essential element is to believe you can do it. The real key to achieving your dreams is not having someone else believe in you but believing in yourself. Professional tennis player, Venus Williams, stated, "You have to believe in yourself when no one else does - that makes you a winner right there."
Stay focused
Stay focused on your pathway of achievement by developing the following habits.
· Daily, read your goals.
· Visualize, see yourself accomplishing each goal.
· Weekly, make a list of tasks that will move you closer to your destination.
· Prioritize each task.
· Check each task off your list as your complete it.
· Celebrate each accomplishment!
Repeat these steps for other areas of your life. Your career, lifestyle, relationships, finances, and health are just a few of your life areas that will benefit from taking responsibility and goal planning.
Remember, it's never too late to set goals, develop a plan, and make your dreams come true. Believe in yourself and take action.
Our goal at Professionally Suited is to provide you tips and tools to help you enjoy career success. If you would like us to dig deeper into one of the areas mentioned above or would like to see future postings on a particular topic, email your request to us at connect@professionallysuited.com.
To be notified of new postings, be sure to subscribe at https://www.professionallysuited.com.
Comments